to my father

This letter is dedicated to my lovely father,

For you, I hope someday you'll read it and enjoy it!

I was always happy to see you, you were my hero but then I realized you weren't always right, you wouldn't always make the best decisions, you wouldn't always make me laugh.
And then I was sad, sad because I finally realized you are a real man. One that would make me cry.

You know that something that happens to every girl? That has happened to me as well, because I don't know if you realized but I'm a grown girl now, I'm a woman. Boys don't look at me like I'm a little child. Boys look at me like they would eat me like I'm a piece of meat. And you didn't advise me about that and neither talk to me and you laugh sometimes about this in front of me like I don't what that is or like it doesn't care. And then I realized you were a boy too, I want to believe that you never made this but eventually I could hear you did it.

I thought you could protect me front everything and everyone but then I realized that I had to make my own path. When I finally realized that, we had some problems with our relationship because I wasn't and am always sure about what you say and do. We argue a little but I still love you, like I always will.

I have something to tell you: I have been in love once, I think I still like him. You know him, you made laughs about us and you never realized the truth in them, you never realized what happened and the sadness in my eyes because of it. And if you did realize, that's even worse because you didn't give me your shoulder. I wanted to tell you but I had heard so many jokes about me getting a boyfriend or even like a boy coming out of your mouth and your friends' mouths, that I was scared of saying anything about it out loud somewhere I knew you could hear. But, deep down, you know that someday I will come out of your wings and be out of our lovely home and go somewhere else. I will find someone that I hope that will make me laugh as much as you do and you love me and take care of me as much as you do.

Thank you for every time that you got out of work because I was sick and mom couldn't be with me and thank you so much for every time that we went together to the "girls doctor".

You know that dream I told you? That little thing I have inside me? That's the most truthful thing I have and the one I know someday I'll have to do or I'll be sad for the rest of my days. You, deep down, know that I will do that even if you don't agree with it because I know that deep down it's the right choice for me and it's everything I've always wanted to do.

Since a child, I've always waited for you to get home when you were late because of work, because, since a child, I always worried about you being on the road at night alone or working late hours and not coming home, I always worry when you don't pick up the phone and don't tell anything. And I know this is reciprocated.

Basically, I want to thank you and I appreciate a lot about everything you have done for me and will continue to do. Thank you for taking care of me since birth until you go.

I love you, dad and I always will. 

From your baby girl.