I started this in July of 2021, in mids of 2022 I wrote some more and here I am, a couple months later, continuing. Because this is a journey and a long one. Growing past and better viewing yourself after the way you’ve done it for so long is very difficult but is very necessary! So come on a journey with me:
One of the
hardest things is to look at me, after years of crying, trauma, pain and
fear. When my own eyes set upon me, those were things I would focus on.
Now I make
myself look at myself and look past those things. To see the happiness, the joy of
life, the love, and contentment, I make myself remember these. So that I can love
past the pain and fears. I make me hope for myself, for a future different
from the past, for something more than what I have now. I am not set upon
trauma and pain!
I remember
the freely dreamy and brilliant mind I had as a kid and I go back to those
thoughts. The world is so much more than your mind, but you can only hold it when
you have your heart in your wands.
When we
have in our hands all that is ours and ours only. Only then can we look at ourselves
and see love and joy, can we look at the world we love and joy. How we see the
world is a perception of how we see ourselves. How we treat others around us is
a perception of how we treat ourselves inside. Our minds and heart don’t get
better with the help of outside or something, only when we believe and want to.
Our desire
to take care of ourselves has to come from inside, as sometimes the motive can
revolve around others but I believe it will only have results when you are the biggest
part of the equation.
The fact
that I have grown so much in the past year and a half since I started
writing this blog post, is not only related to others that pushed me and helped
me grow but mainly because of my wish and desire to do so. So many situations
happened when I look back that could have been it for me, to go back to old
behaviours, to see myself as I used to. But no, I chose and continued to do so
to get better for myself and others around me. Not only was my wish to be
good to myself, to be an excellent person to be with 24/7 for myself, to have a mind and
heart true and beautiful for me to live with but also, I wouldn’t want people
to treat me like I was treating myself and probably others around me (even
though with time I got pretty good at hiding it and treating other better than
I did myself).
I think
this is a journey we never really finish but we still win. Because we’re
always advancing right? And if that’s so then we are winning every day we advance
and better ourselves. It’s truly about the way and path and not the
destination! So just keep on loving yourself and getting better every day and
when the final day comes, will be the best version of yourself ever.
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