i still cry

It still hurts not seeing you and no one notices

I'm still hurt because of you and no one knows

I still cry at night when no one is listening

I still look for you when no one is watching

I still try, I try to find you, in my sweet dreams, next to me, I try to dream about you, I hug you in them and when I wake up I still cry knowing I can't have that anymore. Those hugs that used to make everything better, even when my world was crushing.

And when my floor was taken underneath my feet and my knees touched the ground, I knew I could live without you but it was not going to be the same.

When that phrase entered my brain, I knew it was true and was not coming out of my head. It felt like a bell ringing and my eyes closed trying to feel you, even knowing the truth and when I opened them again, the water hurt in my face, my throat closed and I couldn't talk even when I had so much to say, but it was to you, so I wrote it down because I knew it was not coming out in another way.

My world turned grey and the sun suddenly disappeared, the rain started and I couldn't stop crying with it.


That I can keep going
That God gives me the strength to continue
That even not having you by my side, I can continue with you
That, therefore, even without your presence, I can feel you
That even without seeing you, I can touch you
That continuously, you stay with me and I stay with you

  Life tricks us. We want to delay this kind of situations, but they are inevitable, the more we run from them, the more we fight, it looks like, by the end, the more afraid we are with what can happen.
And it wasn't different this time, you went and we stayed, you left and we continued. Maybe you have had more luck because you were able to go live freely, maybe we have had more bad luck because we stayed, another day on this earth and now, unfortunately, without you.