fake happiness

I have been fighting with myself for months,

Because of  past relationships,

Because of the decisions I made,

Because of present relationships,

Because of decisions, I have to take.

I have been struggling almost every day,

Because I cannot feel happy with myself in moments I should be,

Because sometimes I feel like I'm just faking happiness and the people that can really make me laugh at these moments are far away.

 

 So I have to breathe and take it away and keep going.

So I have to deal with my heart and my head fighting against each other for things I do know the truth and some of them I do not want to face.

So I have to try to figure out what I'm going to do.

And let me tell you if you see a girl that likes being complemented by some boy she doesn't even know, she's not really happy with it. But let me tell you she's just faking it because society tells girls what they should do, just like they tell boys they should ask and keep asking girls if they want sex or they send nudes.

Let me just take this out of my shoulder and write it down, because I'm a little girl in a big world and I don't know what to do.

And sometimes I thought about hurting myself or even kill me but I know what I'm passing now is going to help me in the future.

So hold your breath and keep going, because just life knows where it is taking us.