letters

 For my first love:

Hey love,

How have you been?
I'm sorry we couldn't keep contact, but that's actually almost just your fault, isn't it?
I wish we didn't stop talking, I wish we were together until today, I wish we could learn together how to love someone and how to be with one another, and each other.

Whatever, I wanted to talk to you about something.
You have no idea how I was when you text me that, and I obviously have no idea how you were, and if that was the truth at all.
To be honest, I don't know how if text hurt more than it would if it was in the face, but I know we should have talked after those texts, we should have taken time for each other and talked, just the two of us.

I want to say that I haven't been with someone since you, not that I didn't have the chance, but I still can't stop thinking about you when the subject is this. Love, because I did love you. Sometimes I think I still do, but as always I'm not sure of anything, I think that is how I am.

Surprisingly, I have been thinking a lot about you, I have been dreaming about you again. Actually, I had a dream that we were getting married, it couldn't be more impossible, but we both believe in the God of impossibles. I haven't been talking about you with others, I still think you are mine, and if I talk with someone I'm destroying what was ours.

I wanted to ask you for something. Let's leave the past in the past, what and how much we suffer without each other and let's be friends, just chilling and see what happens, let's talk until 5 am about things that don't matter, let's dream together and believe.

With Love,

From your first love